The Struggle is Real… but so is God!

I have decided that instead of avoiding my blog because I don’t want to sound dumb or stupid should be the least of my concerns. In all reality know one could read it, and I would be fine with that because it truly is to help me and be a place where I can write down and share my feelings and experiences and be able to reflect back on what I have done, and what I am doing to help me be better and become who my Heavenly Father wants me to be. It's hard for me to share my struggles with my family, let alone the blogging world, but I just felt like I should. The mission experience is a roller coaster of emotions, but I wouldn't want it any other way. It's the way we learn and grow most, by experiences and challenges and by overcoming hard things. It's the way God intended it to be, and he has a reason for it. 

Tonight, and a lot of other nights recently, I have had a million thoughts going through my head; mostly excitement and eagerness to start my new adventure, but some uneasiness and inadequacy as well.  I don’t think I truly understood the commitment this would be when I hit that submit button, or when I was reading my call aloud for the first time. Even a week later I still felt like I was living in some sort of fantasy world, but soon after that the reality of it all would hit. I

At first I was scared. I couldn’t believe what I had gotten myself into, and why on earth I would ever commit myself to something so hard. I had many thoughts of discouragement, that there would be no way I could do something like this, that I would miss my family and little Tremonton way to much. It came at a time when my friends were leaving to head back to school, and I was stuck here delivering pizzas and waiting for April 9^th.  I had a friend send me an email that said make sure you stay busy, an idle mind is Satan’s playground, and I can truly testify to that. I found myself thinking way to much, and not being active or being engaged in any activity other than working, sleeping in, and checking Facebook.

It took some time pleading with the Lord to help me, to reignite my flame, and to reassure me that what I was doing was what he had in store for me. I had to recommit myself to the Lord, his plan, and what he wanted. I knew the only reason I was feeling this way was because of Satan. He works a lot harder, but in different ways, after you have received a mission call. I found myself lacking motivation to open my scriptures at night, to study my preach my gospel, and do the little things. Nothing big and crazy, but I have learned through experience that it’s the small things that add up, and little by little he can drag you down.

I decided one night that I was going to recommit myself to the Lord. That I was going to study my scriptures, and read the Book of Mormon all the way through again before I leave.(It is highly encouraged by general authorities)  I was going to pray often, and look for missionary experiences, and serve others. This has truly changed my attitude, my countenance, and the person that I am. I was reading my scriptures one night and came across the verse “there is opposition in all things” That hit me square in the face. I guess I though maybe because I was serving a mission, that the Lord would set the path and make it easy, but that is not how it works. It was a friendly, but stern reminder to saddle up and jump on because it wasn’t going to be easy but if I could make it the reward would be worth it. 

            I think it was exactly what the Lord needed me to do, to allow me to regain that excitement, to help me fight off the adversary, and to help me to be happy. I was reassured in my testimony of the little things, and how they become the big things. I came across the quote one night, and of course tweeted it, but it pertains here. “Patience isn’t the ability to wait, but the attitude of keeping a good attitude while waiting”  And although sometimes I get impatient and just wish it was here already, I truly am grateful for this whole process. I love the time that I am able to spend here at home with my family, and be able to share memories with those around me.

            God really knows what he is doing. He hears and answers our pleadings.  He knows exactly what we need to do and overcome to be able to succeed. I will say it a million times probably, but I am grateful for my challenges and trials. It has allowed me to grow in ways that nothing else could, and I know that because of them I am who I am. I have been put in places where it would be easier to just have thrown in the towel and be done with it, but I stuck to it. I know that my mission, and life in general will be like this a lot of the time. I will have hard days, and just want to come home. But because of my experiences I am more prepared to buckle down and put one foot in from of the other and know that all things I do through Christ and for Christ will benefit me. 

            I am so grateful for the opportunity that I have to serve my Heavenly Father, and to share the gospel with the people of England.  This whole experience has already helped me be able to share the gospel with those that I am around, and have missionary experiences and opportunities already that I would not of had without preparing for my mission. I love this church with all of my heart, and I know that the Book of Mormon is true. I challenge you all … (it’s the future missionary in me) to share the gospel with others, whether its’ your testimony, or by actions of service and love. You never know what kind of outcome it might have on someone’s life. 

“No force in the entire world, can stop the work of God” –Neil L. Anderson

            *Hugs and Loves from tree town!!

                                Mishae

Writing my Story

How do I start this?... I guess will start from the very beginning, hopefully it doesn't get to long or lengthy.. If so, just skip to the end, I'm sure that will be the best part anyway!

Between school, studying, and contemplating one of the biggest decisions of my life I turned into what I call, an emotional girl... I was the girl that was NEVER EVER EVER going on a mission. That just wasn't for me. I had the next few years all planned out, and I was sticking to it. Go to college, become a nurse, find my prince charming, and live happily ever after.. Or so I thought. On June 6 I attended a few sisters' farewells that I had played ball with. I wrote in my journal that night, "Oh crap I'm starting to think about a mission". Well time went on and I left for college, and to fulfill my 5 year plan. 

It didn't take long until a mission was on my mind more and more frequently. I knew I would be turning 19 soon, and the opportunity was approaching quickly. I had decided I was going on a mission, before I even told my parents I was thinking about it.  (Sorry, didn't really want to get your hopes up, and have something come up) I came home for fall break, and went and visited my counseling center family. :) I had talked to them earlier in the week, so they knew I had a "secret" to tell them, they just didn't know what. Bless there hearts. They have been there through the lowest of lows, to now the highest of highs, poor people I'm surprised I haven't put them, and a lot of others in there graves by now... But I told them. It was the first step, in the many steps that I have climbed to get to today. 

I went back to school with a mission now weighing heavily on my mind. I thought about it 24-7. Sleepless nights, stress, tears.. After calling my mom and crying to her, she told me it would be okay basically if I made whatever decision. But reassured me that if I chose to serve sooner then later it would be okay to come home, and leave school (Which was extremely stressful). I sorta felt better after that. I thought okay, if I choose to come home and go it will be okay. I don't I felt like it would all play itself out and be great. I went over to Rylee's to do some studying and talk. I'm pretty sure she was about sick of me at this time because I was such a mental mess. We were sitting there talking when my phone rings. Ha My family ward bishop from Tremonton is calling me. I looked at Rylee and was seriously going to kill my mom. I told her I knew she had called him, and was contemplating even answering. Well, I answered in my "everything is great and dandy" kind of a voice. He really wasn't buying my act, and was going to be traveling through cedar the next weekend, and wondered if he would I would like him to stop and give me a blessing and talk. Of course I wasn't going to shut that down, so I accepted his invitation and went on doing my thing.

He came to my apartment Sunday with his wife, and sat and visited with me and one of my roommates. We discussed the worries, the plan of action, and life. As he gave me a blessing tears streamed down my face. It was one of the "AH HA" moments that you can't deny. After that I knew it with my whole heart that I would be serving a mission, and that I would be doing it sooner rather then later. 

I was looking a little rough, but this picture was taken the day I finally made a decision... :) I had to treat myself to some awesome dessert from Chili's. 

After that the rest is basically history. I came home a few weeks later, and got right to work on mission papers. It was exciting, nerve wracking, and comforting. I could see the Lords hand every step of the way reassuring me that what I was doing was right, and was going to be the best decision for me and my life ahead. 

Things went pretty smooth from then on out. The goal, in my head, was to have my papers all done and completed by the beginning of December, so that I could have a mission call for my birthday. Well, with me being so far away with college, and having to schedule interviews and drs appointments that didn't really happen, They ended up being sent to the church office the Sunday after my birthday. So I guess that would just have to do. I was prepared to wait until January 8 for my call. I had kind of been warned that the church office would be closed during christmas and new years and not to get to anxious  quite yet... :) 

I got this text Monday, December 16. I was for sure I was going to have to wait at least until January till I would get my call... but then I got this text three days later on Thursday when I was out on a delivery at work. 

I first called my mom and dad crazy excited. I think I was in shock to say the least... after that I had to call my mama Kim. We had just talked earlier that day about how it wouldn't come till January, and now it was coming in a week... Well after I told her and was so excited, I managed to get back to the store, clock in, and tell all of dominos. I was freaking out. I didn't know whether to cry because I was so excited or to throw up, because I was so nervous. Needless to say that was an extremely long night at work. 

The days after that went by really slowly. Not a lot of sleeping took place for awhile. The only time I was really nervous was when I found out my call had been issued and when I was physically opening it. I knew it was right, and where ever I was assigned was called by God. Christmas came and I got all of my missionary stuff, and I had told everyone that my call was supposed to be here Thursday, and was kind of planning a party type thing. 

I finally fell asleep at 3 am. I had set my alarm clock for 6 and 6:30 so that I would be awake when the post office called. Well at 7:15 they still hadn't called, and I was absolutely crushed. I called my mom while laying in my bed to ask her if they had called and if I had just slept through it or something. She told me know, and said it probably wouldn't come and was held up because of the holidays. Well at that exact moment my dads phone starts ringing.. my mom tells me to hold on because she thought she heard my dads phone go off. I immediately jump out of my bed and am on a dead sprint to the upstairs.. I'm sure it was really quite comical. The lady at the post office told me I could come get my call whenever. So, after that there was going to be no sleeping. Me and my dad and Jay went up to the post office and got it. ahh Just writing about it makes me all giddy! After that I hid it in a cupboard so know one would mess with it, and so it wouldn't taunt me quite as much. 

I went to breakfast with some friends after that, which was nice because it killed two hours. I came home where I cleaned, made treats, and tried to stay busy. It really wasn't bad until it hit like 3:45. I knew people would start showing up and that it was really happening. ha talk about a nervous crazy!!! 

4:30 came and my house was packed. I think we counted a total of 51 people here... and that was even with some friends not being able to make it. I truly and so blessed with all of the support and love that I have received.... well at about 4:40 the mission call was being opened, and I read the words... well i peaked before.. :) I just wanted to prepare myself to say it out loud!! 

Dear Sister Nelson: you are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the England London South Mission. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 18 months. You should report to the Provo Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, April 9, 2014. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the English Language!

I was speechless!!! (which takes a lot) i was overcome with peace and comfort and gratitude. I knew this was where Lord and chosen specifically for me to go, and was so HAPPY!!!... 

Anyways... IM GOING TO LONDON!!!!!!!! 

This blog is now probably going to turn into more of a mission blog. I'm going to try and share experiences that I have up until I leave. Sorry for such the long post. Although I'm sharing it with you, where ever you are, it is to help me to be able to reflect back on as well, and it's the little details that I shared with you, that I will truly want to remember forever. 

This is the ONLY true church! God is real and understands what we are going through at every single moment of our life. Turn your burdens over to him, he truly can help take away the pain. I can't wait to share this amazing gospel with the people of England. I know God is preparing those that I will teach to receive my testimony. Listen to the Spirit always, and share your testimony with others as often as you can, not only in words but in actions and deeds... i have a story about that, but will save it for another day:).. I love this church with all my heart! :) 

 Hugs and Loves from Tree Town!!!

Mishae